*This I Promise You* - A fan fiction story by Tammy "Tammtamm" Frederick © Sept. 2000, thetamm@yahoo.com (inspired by the song THIS I PROMISE YOU written by Richard Marx and sung by NSYNC - from their album NO STRINGS ATTACHED, released in 2000)
Author’s note: I’ve been focusing on Tara too much and hopefully with this part we’ll all see the bonding between Joey and the rest of NSYNC build. This story is going to be a long one. (I know I told some of you it would be done by Christmas, 2000, but honestly, how can I end this story when I'm so in love with the characters of J I’m having a lot of fun writing this, more than I thought possible. Thank you to everyone who has provided feedback and given me their insights into the characters. It’s greatly appreciated and valued from each and every one of you! So if you haven't given me feedback and wish to do so, please email me at iwuvjoey@iwuvjoey.com or thetamm@yahoo.com. Thanks!
“I’ll see you Tuesday, right?” Joey asked as he and Tara stood in the secured room of the Philadelphia International airport saying their goodbyes. Tiny had arranged it prior to their arrival.
“Yup, I’ll meet you in Ontario.” Tara smiled.
“And you will call me if you need to?”
“Only if you promise to do the same and while you’re at it… promise me you’ll lean on the guys? They’re you’re best friends too.” Tara asked.
“I promise.” Joey said as he brushed her bangs back away from her forehead. He traced her scar that went from her widows peak and curved towards her right eye.
“It’s only a few days, Joey. I’ll see you Tuesday. Have fun, ok?” she said. Joey looked in her eyes and tilted her head back to kiss her. They were locked in a passionate kiss when Tiny interrupted them.
“It’s time to go, Joey.” Tiny announced.
“Thanks Tiny.” Joey said when he came up for air. He turned back to Tara, “Hold that thought until Tuesday?” he questioned as he gave her another kiss.
“I don’t know if I can wait that long.” Tara giggled.
“Neither do I.” Joey admitted as he and Tara walked over to the door.
“Joe, I love you.” Tara said.
“I love you too, Tara… I love you too.” Joey said. Lance was about to knock on the door when Joey opened it.
“It’s about time……… I was about to go and reschedule our flight.” Lance admitted. Tara blushed and Joey laughed.
“Sorry Lance… it’s just very hard to leave my fiancée.” Joey admitted.
“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Lance admitted as he looked at Betsy. Now it was Betsy’s turn to blush.
Tara gave Lance a hug before hugging Joey one last time. She, Betsy, and Randy watched as Tiny, Lance, and Joey ran down the ramp towards the plane.
“Man, I hate to leave her here in Pennsylvania.” Joey said to Lance as they buckled up in their seats on the plane.
“She’ll be okay. She’s got Trish and Travis and Randy looking out for her and Betsy too.” Lance said.
“You didn’t see her yesterday morning at the office Lance.” Joey explained.
“Gentlemen, we’ll be taking off momentarily. Please make sure your seat belts are fastened. I’ll be back around to get your drink orders after we’ve taken off.” The stewardess greeted the guys.
“Everything okay?” Lance asked.
“Everything’s fine, Lance.” Joey immediately answered back as he closed his eyes. Lance had opened a magazine. Joey then thought about what he just said to Lance. Tara was right. He shouldn’t be afraid to let the guys in. Maybe he was because he was afraid to lose them to like he had lost Andy. “Wait, Lance, I shouldn’t shut you out like I do. I’m sorry. Everything is not all right.” Joey admitted. Lance looked at his friend. He put the magazine down beside him in the seat.
“Talk to me, Joey.” Lance invited Joey to open up to him. `Finally, Joey’s gonna let loose,’ Lance thought to himself. Joey ran his fingers through his hair as the stewards and the stewardesses began the instructions for an emergency evacuation in case it would ever happen.
“So what’s going on with you and Lance?” Tara asked Betsy as she handed her some tissues. They walked over to the window to watch the plane taxi away from the gate and then take off.
“I like him. He’s such a gentleman. And he’s thoughtful and witty and very bright.” Betsy admitted.
“I think he’s smitten with you as well.” Tara chuckled.
“So, boss, what’s on the agenda for the rest of the day?” Betsy asked as she forced herself to stop the tear flow.
“Well, Trish is going to take you to the office and show you around. Me, I need to go back to my house and pack up some things to send them off to Orlando.” Tara admitted.
“You’re not coming to the office?” Betsy asked.
“No, been there, done that. Bad experience. I can’t deal with it right now. But you’re in good hands with Trish.” Tara said.
“Okay, Tara.” Betsy trusted Tara. She just hoped that Tara trusted her.
“Look there they go… they’re off…” Tara said as the plane that Joey and Lance were on took off.
“Well, where to begin? I’m not sure.” Joey tried to collect his thoughts. Lance looked at his friend and gave him a smile.
“How about at the beginning?” Lance suggested.
“Well, this actually goes back to when Andy died, but I’m gonna start with the shooting. Especially because it affected me and Tara so much yesterday when we to the office.” Joey started. A stewardess came by to offer them drinks, they both asked for orange juice.
“So…” Lance said once the stewardess had left.
“Remember how I reacted when I was on the phone with Tara and the connection was lost the day of the shooting?” Joey asked Lance. Lance nodded in response.
“And how terrified I was?” Joey continued, Lance just let him speak. “I relived it all yesterday when we got to the office. And Tara did too. Anyway, while she was in her office, I just stood out next to the receptionist desk and relived the phone call she and I had that day and the gunshots and all and how close I came to losing her.” Joey took a breath.
“How did it make you feel being there in the office like that?” Lance asked.
“I just kept thinking how I couldn’t get to her fast enough. That it should never have happened to her to begin with. And I could only imagine what was going through her mind both back when it first happened and then again yesterday and then Trish yelled for me to get in there. That Tara wasn’t responding to her. Lance, it took me ten minutes to get through to her. She went somewhere, I don’t know where, but somewhere that made her catatonic almost. I didn’t know what to do so I started singing to her and she slowly came back to me but, my god, Lance. We were both so traumatized by that. She won’t go back there. I don’t think she wanted to stay in Pennsylvania anymore, but when we got out to the car and talked and we both calmed down, she had this look in her eye that said she couldn’t go back there. Not ever.”
“And you?” Lance asked.
“I don’t think I could go back there either. Just seeing her catatonic like that scared the heebie geebies out of me, Lance. It was like I couldn’t get through to her. I was more scared seeing her in that state than when the shooting incident occurred.” Joey was fidgeting with the Valentina Beanie Baby that Tara had given him late last night to keep with him until she would meet up with him on Tuesday.
“Did you two talk about it?”
“Yeah, we did. I’m still worried about her and she’s worried about me. Have I really kept you and the guys at bay since Andy’s death?” Joey asked. He was really wondering just how much at bay he had kept the guys.
“Yeah, you have. But we all figured you would tell us in due time or that you would work it out on your own.” Lance replied.
“What were you guys really thinking?”
“Well, you seemed to be handling things alright and you told us what you felt we should know. You didn’t offer much more than that and we understood that.” Lance replied.
“Sometimes I just don’t know how to talk to you guys about really serious stuff.” Joey admitted.
“But you’re doing fine now. It’s not hard. We can all be serious when need be, Joe. You just have to trust in us.”
“Trust is what I’m learning. I’m learning that there’s all different types of trust.” Joey admitted and smiled. He and Lance talked the rest of the flight. He felt like he had just lost a fifty pound weight off of his back and he couldn’t wait to tell Tara. The minute they were on the ground and in a car on the way to the hotel he was on the phone with Tara.
“Hello?” Tara answered the phone.
“Hi baby. I’m on the ground and on my way to the hotel to meet up with the guys.” Joey said.
“Great. You sound different. Everything okay?” Tara asked.
“I talked to Lance on the way here. Really talked to him T.” Joey told her.
“Bet that makes you feel better.”
“Yeah and I can’t help but think why I didn’t do it sooner.”
“Sometimes things happen for a reason Joey and maybe everything that’s happening is telling you to open up now instead of over the past year and a half.” Tara admitted.
“What about you?” Joey asked.
“What about me?” she replied.
“How are you feeling?” Joey asked.
“Silly, would you stop worrying. I’m fine. I’m just packing up a few boxes and stuff. Chris’s sister is here and she’s helping me. The company is going to buy the house for me for use when buyers and models are in town for us. What do you think?” Tara asked.
“That’s a good idea. This way you don’t need to have a fire sale of sorts.” Joey said.
“Exactly. And Chris’s sister will be a permanent resident for the time being so that there’s always someone in the house.”
“I bet she’s excited.” Joey said.
“Yeah, you know how she is. You guys at the hotel yet? Is Lance there with you?” Tara asked.
“Yes to both. What are you doing?” Joey said as he got out of the limo once it stopped in front of the hotel.
“Just finished loading a box with pictures and picture frames. Need to move up to my bedroom and pack up the teddy bears and stuff. Gonna send everything possible down via express so that it’ll be there before my flight on Tuesday to come see you.” She told him.
“How much are you sending down?” Joey asked.
“Well, clothing, memories, and nick nacks… nothing too big. Trish and Travis will bring my computer down in a few weeks though. I don’t want to send it down.”
“Okay.”
“Joey, I should let you go. You need to focus on business and honestly, talking with you is slowing me down sweetheart. Have fun tonight and call me after the show?” Tara asked.
“You know it. I love you.” Joey said.
“I love you to… give the guys all a hug for me.” Tara said and blew him a kiss over the phone before hanging up.
“Where’s everyone else?” Joey said to Lance while Lance was checking them in.
“Not in yet.” Lance said. “I just checked. C’mon, we may as well go up to the rooms and relax before they get here and we have to go to sound check.” Lance suggested. Tiny and a bell hop led the way to the elevator. A few fans had stopped the guys on their way for autographs and pictures and the guys happily obliged. When they got to their rooms, Lance left his stuff on his bed and went over to Joey’s room.
“Joe, can I ask you something?” Lance asked. Now it was his turn to talk.
“Sure.” Joey said. Joey figured that he should give the guys a fair shot at using him as a sounding board.
“When you first met Tara, did you know she was the one?” Lance asked.
“Not exactly. Remember, she was Andy’s girl. I didn’t want to betray Andy’s memory by going out with her and at first she and I were just friends, but then the more time I spent with her, the more I realized how special she was and she and I agonized over pursuing a relationship, but we believed that Andy would want us to be happy and that if it was with each other, that he would approve. You’ve been seeing a lot of Betsy though, you think it may be serious?” Joey changed the questioning on him.
“Well, I like spending time with her. It’s nothing like the other girls I’ve dated. She doesn’t laugh because I’m laughing, she laughs, and I mean genuinely laughs, at things without thinking whether it’s to please me or not. She’s not shy to admit when she’s wrong about something and she’s very inquisitive with me. Always asking questions about the business or what I think about other artists. She even asked me for help on some of her homework one night. She’s smart and witty and she has this gleam in her eye that comes alive when we’re dancing that just turns me on.” Lance chuckled as he explained his feelings for Betsy.
“God Lance, you’ve got it bad and you’ve only known this girl what? A month maybe, six weeks?” Joey said.
“But we’re taking things slow.”
“Does your heart race when you think of her or when you catch a glimpse of her out of the corner of your eye? Do you find yourself in the middle of something job related, stopping to wonder what she’s doing at that exact moment?” Joey asked. Lance could only nod.
“Yup, you’ve got it bad.” JC came into the room.
“Hey guys… Justin, Chris, and I finally made it.” JC said as he tossed his luggage onto his bed. He and Joey shared a room. Chris, Lance, and JC usually shared one too, but nine out of ten times, they usually all ended up crashing in the same room.
“It’s about time.” Lance said looking at his watch.
“Sorry the plane was late… had whether problems trying to get out of Orlando.” Chris said as he came in behind JC. Justin followed right behind Chris.
“How’d everything go in Pennsylvania with Tara, Joe?” JC asked.
“There’s a lot to talk to all of you about, but not right now, okay? Maybe later, after sound check.” Joey suggested. The guys all looked at each other.
“Sounds good.” Justin said. Lance looked at his watch.
“We should really get going… sound check is in an hour.” Lance said.
“Ggggggrrrrrrrrrrr, I knew I should have eaten something before we got on the plane.” Justin commented.
“We’ll grab something on the way over. Tiny!” Joey said. Tiny came into the room from standing outside the door.
“You guys ready?” Tiny asked.
“Yeah, can we stop at Micky D’s on the way though… everyone’s hungry… we need some food.” Joey stated.
“Sure… I’ll tell the driver.” Tiny said.
‘Okay, my ear piece isn’t working.” JC said as the guys tried to sing This I Promise You during sound check. One of the equipment roadies ran over to JC with his back-up piece. The guys gathered around to test it. JC nodded and gave the thumbs-up sign to the crew to let them know he was functioning again. They were going thru the show, step for step for sound check. Just so that they were all on the same level.
“You guys are looking great! Chris, who wudda thunk you were in a car accident?” Jonathan shouted from some seats on the side. “Go get some food and get ready for the Meet and Greet. And stay out of trouble.” Jonathan announced.
“Can we just work on `Just Got Paid’ one more time?” Chris asked. He wasn’t sure of the footing still and wanted to make sure that he wasn’t putting any unnecessary strain on his knee. The guys all agreed and they went thru the steps. Chris was satisfied on everything and the guys all went backstage.
“So, Joe… you wanna talk about things now?” JC asked as the guys had grabbed some food and gone back to their dressing room.
“Yeah, JC, for once, I really, truly do.” Joey said. Each of the guys looked at Joey as he began to tell them things he should of from day one. From before Kim, to Andy, to meeting Tara, to today on the plane with Lance. Everything just poured out. By the time he was done, all of them were in tears and JC, Lance, Chris, and Justin had all piled on top of Joey in a male bonding sort of hug.
“Joey, see you should talk to us sooner instead of making us cry.” JC said as he dried his eyes on his sleeve.
“If the women saw us now…” Justin started.
“They’d be proud of us.” Lance answered.
“Wait… since it’s true confession time here, I have a confession to make.” Chris said as he sat back away from the guys for a moment. The one thing that only Tara knew that not even Danielle or the guys knew and he was about to spill the accident story to the guys right now. He took a deep breath as the guys all looked at him. “Guys, remember the night of the accident?” Chris asked. The all nodded. Chris looked down at the floor. “Charlie tried to kill himself. I was trying to stop him. I figured that if I got in the car with him, he wouldn’t go thru with it. We fought and I took hold of the wheel and that’s when we crashed.” Chris replied.
“That bastard. I’ll kill him.” Joey said without thinking. Chris looked at Joey and focused in on him.
“Is that why you won’t see him or speak to him?” Lance asked. Chris just nodded.
“Joey, please, you don’t mean that.” JC said, he too was shocked at how affected Joey was by what Chris had told him. Charlie was a friend to all of them and for him to go to such extremes as suicide hurt them all.
“Chris, you’re the oldest out of all of us. This must be killing you about Charlie. Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Justin asked.
“I didn’t want you guys to hate Charlie.” Chris said.
“I don’t think we hate Charlie. We’re just stunned that he would be so far gone as to want to kill himself.” JC said. Joey had remained silent.
“Joey, what are you thinking?” Chris asked.
“I’m thinking how much I’m grateful that you weren’t more seriously injured and how lucky I am to have four best friends in the four of you. Tara was right. I just needed to see it for myself.” Joey told them all, “And, Lance, you’re right, I don’t want to kill Charlie. I want to help him.” Joey said, looking at Lance.
“We’re not gonna start crying again are we? Cuz we’ve got like twenty minutes before the meet and greet and we all still need to shower and finish dinner.” Lance said. The guys all laughed.
“Always the business man, Lancesten.” Chris chuckled. The guys had chowed down the rest of their food and taken quick showers before changing into comfort clothes. They were all ready on time for the meet and greet. Joey had quickly pulled out his cell phone to call Tara.
“Tara? I did it.” Joey told her, triumphantly.
“You did? I’m so proud of you Joey.” Tara said.
“Thanks. I love you too… hey, I have some people that want to say hi to you,” Joey said. He held the cell phone up as they entered the meet and greet room. “Everyone say hello to Tara!” he screamed. Everyone in the room replied with “Hello Tara”. He brought the cell phone back down to his ear.
“Joey Fatone… I love you so much. Have a great meet and greet and a great show. I’ll talk to you later.” Tara told him.
“I love you too, babe. I love you too.” Joey said and hung up the phone. JC looked at his friend.
“We’re proud of you too, Joey.” He said. He and Joey gave each other a quick hug before focusing on the fans.
